You have to become a higher personality; the transformation has to take place. Once you get your Realization, you start understanding how many powers you have. And the greatest power is of compassion and detached love.
True meditation is effortless. It comes to you spontaneously. Only after Self-realization, you can achieve the true meditation state where you have no thought and doubt in your mind. Your mind becomes like a surface of a peaceful lake without any ripples.
Six enemies of the Spirit which are blocking your chakras (Lust, Anger, Greed, Fear, Jealousy, False Pride) disappear and you become your own Master (Guru). You just rise above all the these things at a higher level and you start seeing everything as a witness. You know what is good and what is bad for you. You have no more hesitations and confusions. You become more innocent and wise. In the light of your pure Spirit, you know what to do and what not to do.
Forget about what you have learned so far. About your conditionings because if you had achieved anything out of that, then Self-realization would not be necessary. Now you have to see with a clean slate, what you can achieve in this lifetime, which is the most important thing, is to be achieved.
Just by listening to lectures or reading books, you cannot be transformed and you cannot get rid of your laziness, bad feelings, worries.
If this transformation is not happening in your life then you have not yet found the Truth. Because without Self-realization, none of your sincere efforts about yoga and meditation will bring complete transformation to your life.